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August 13, 2005

Feels like... school?

It feel like school, in more ways than one. Yesterday, I submitted my draft syllabus for the WRT 307 course I'll be teaching in the fall. Now I need to finish it, do something attractive with it for web purposes, and start really thinking through what I want to do with the class time. Derek's post about his course and his clever and polished website for his course made me realize I'm already behind and I'm not even there yet. Not a great way to start. No link for mine yet - next week, I think.

Ty, Krista and I all began the summer with a bold reading plan. As far as I can tell, the only success in this project at all was Ty's. I fell behind at the beginning and never did catch on. This will add to my fall load.

DP, also known as AJ (I have no idea if she's cool with that) is searching for a text for what appears to be an interesting 105 course. Great new wallpaper over there - check it out. She's been reading and blogging all summer - good job! She'll have plenty to draw on later. I should be doing that. I can't figure out what stops me, unless it's something akin to what Collin posted about having so much one wants to say and not the energy (or time) to do it all so doing none of it.

Derek also has scored the reading list for the class we'll be taking for fall. Seems he's on top of everything. Which leaves me feeling strangely like a huge slacker. He=polished prose and thought out assignments in his syllabus, focus and preparedness for studenthood. Me=rough chatty draft, no clue what studenthood will be about this time. I came grad school believing that I was an academic at heart. Folks like Derek make me reconsider that notion. (And set a really great example I should rise up to).

All of this feels like school because when the semester ended last spring I was really done. I wasn't sure I could ever take another class. I swore I wouldn't take anything that wasn't absolutely required ever again, and that I would finish and get out as soon as I could. Truthfully, if it weren't for the fact I have a fourth-year fellowship dangling in front of me, I might not have continued at all.

Instead I spent thousands of miles alone in a car pondering what I'm doing here. Keith Rhodes posted a timely comment on the WPA listserv about his experiences with the rhet/comp field. He had a successful law career, left it to engage the professoriate, left that for all the reasons one can imagine a smart, motivated, rhetorically skilled individual with solid professional training and experience in law might leave. He's a man I wish I knew personally. Right now I'd love to have a chat with him. All this self-reflection we engage in as a discipline is wearisome. The fact that we're still having the same conversations after 40 years is the subject of an interesting thread over at WPA. The responses are stirring an essay for me. I wonder if I'll actually write it.

Speaking of essays, I read this morning that Amy is due to have an article published in the January College English. She had mentioned that she was publishing. Now I know where to look. Good job, Amy! And another good example to rise up to about taking on the scholarly portion of the professor gig.

I posted a few things over at Donna's place that I recognized as a teaching philosophy about the field of composition specifically. I need to rework those ideas a bit and post them here - as a way of really taking ownership of them. That's a fall project, too. My teaching portfolio needs an update now that I've had two additional years of "education."

I still have my doubts about this whole experiment of mine. I face the fall quarter as a reluctant student, but a willing and able teacher. It'll be interesting.

Posted by cageyer at August 13, 2005 09:36 AM

Comments

Thanks for the kind words, Chris. And I'm pretty sure you're more prepared for things than you're letting on. You're definitely ready to teach 307, I think. And me, I'm really trying to be a better plodder--15-30 minutes a day on each small thing unless a sharp spike in desire compels me to do more. But I honestly have some anxiety about *teaching* 307 because my own approach to professional writing long survived on heavy shots of hackery, imitation and amateurism (don't know, ask, right?). It's an odd change for me to be teaching a class I never took. So if I seem over-prepared for 307, it's because I'm tending toward anxious.

FWIW, I've also been thinking much less (or caring much less...for the summer, anyway) about how what I'm doing fits the grand plan or how it matches up. Just trying to honor my urges to do this or that kind of work, follow energies, passions, enjoyment.

Oh, and I'd say that commenters exceeding 50 words should owe the blog-owner a beer. Yeah...that's my new rule for the blogosphere.

Posted by: Derek at August 13, 2005 10:44 AM

Yea, I agree with Derek. You are probably more prepared than most of us. I'm still not really sure about many things, but we've all got to brave it. Afterall, we're here, right?

For me, that first year was awful (not totally), but all lessons learned were good ones. Hang in there.

Like Derek said,

[Think] much less...about how what [you're] doing fits the grand plan or how it matches up. Just...honor [the] urges to do this or that kind of work, follow energies, passions, enjoyment.

Hope I didn't take that out of context Derek, but I like what you say here. Chris, you'll be fine, and the excitement and energy will come when it's supposed to.

Posted by: digitalpenny at August 13, 2005 02:20 PM