Cinnabar and Alabaster

and i ad-libbed through the things i'd planned to do, spending way more time on grammar & glaser than i'd planned--becky kept insisting that glaser was easy, & i kept trying to agree, but the class was repeatedly stumped by things i thought were simple. of course, i found kolln more accessible than she did, and they were stumped by that too. these grammar books expect a working-knowledge that i think our students lack--or at least a working vocabulary. they're good at noticing when things are wrong... most of the time. and either fixing them or creatively working their way around them. but they can't tell you that what's wrong w/a sentences is called an "adverb," and getting them to take filler out of examples to create more clear sentences was way more like i imagine pulling teeth would actually be like than i'd expected this to go. so we didn't end up w/time to do any peer review, although i did get corey's paper up on the overhead so we could at least make a few comments as a class. his was too slick, though (he was the one who volunteered), for us to do more than look at a few of his minute stylistic decisions in terms of "i like how you do this," and "i think i would have done this this way instead." not, i'm guessing, a very informative model for the rest of the group.

they're all well-versed in the practices of the workshop, though--and of workshop avoidance. "i read his already. she's got mine. i've already read that one." <-- that's tom & kevin, who seemed to always have print in front of them that they weren't reading & to be muttering about something else during thursday's rescheduled workshop session. everybody else seemed to get something out of it, though, even the people who'd missed classes & come in w/last-minute work no one had pre-read, so that was very nice indeed. the intricate plans i'd laid out for who would read whose when had completely dissolved, and i explained that. "it's going to be chaos," i said. "there's really no help for it. you've read some papers--find those people and share your ideas w/them. somebody's read yours--find that person too. if nobody's read yours yet, find somebody who isn't doing anything." and they did. i don't know why the freshmen lose it at those kinds of instructions, but these guys--in that 30-minute block so clearly not freshmen--choreographed the time beautifully. i did a little nudging for a few people, but even without it most of them were reading & talking about each others' texts the whole time.

the imitation handout i made & the mini-lecture introducing unit 2 that went with it didn't go over as well... i've been reading this stuff for too long to have any idea where to start, and the place i made up as a starting place wasn't helpful, apparently. betsy was so confused as to be almost hostile about it, but i'd already gotten the "sometimes betsy gets hostile" vibe, so i didn't worry much, just tried to connect it to a few strands & promised we'd come back. once we got a discussion going about how it could be negative--before i'd really done anything to convince them of the positive, other than to lay the obvious on the table--they took off & got thinking, though, & that's the part that matters. the handout was just a jumping-off point, and there's jumping happening.

i'm not concerned about betsy. i'm concerned about wade, but he wasn't there thursday to worry about. i'm afraid he saw me tuesday--when i was nervous & overly hyper--as being overly critical & confrontational instead. i wasn't trying to be, but that doesn't matter at all in light of whatever he percieved.

what's both weird & good: lots of people at work offering to help out, cover classes, pitch in however. i really appreciate it, although it seems a little strange, since i was supposed to be teaching this class anyway, albeit w/more input from becky. i keep telling them i have it all under control. i don't, but it's not a hopeless mess, either, and i really think it'll go better if it's a little jagged but steered by only this 1 1/2 pilots than if we get another 2 or 3 involved. my own vision of where this is all going (or ought to be) isn't clear enough to share in a way that'll make help productive right now--which is probably similar to where becky is, really--so i have to shrug it off politely.

i keep hoping, though, that near the end of the semester when i'm still backlogged, &, say, not keeping up w/my workload in somebody's class, that that memory will have lingered & there will be forgiveness. or at least extensions!